Wondering Why

Growing up and going to a school for people with disabilities, every know and than, you would hear over the speaker system that one of your classmates, or someone in the school had just passed away.  Sometimes it would hit you harder than others especially when you knew that person, though I think it eventually you would ask yourself, just like I did, am I next.  People with disabilities, are not expected to have the life expectancy that other people do.  For example, doctor's told my parent's that I would be brain dead when I was born, than doctor's told my parent's I wouldn't survive past 18, in two months I will be 36, God's plan most definitely, because He has a time, and a place for everything.  Ecclesiastes 3.    Psalms 139:13-16, says that He has every day of our lives written our in His book,

             ¹³You alone created my inner being.

You knitted me together inside my mother.

¹⁴ I will give thanks to you

because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made.

Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this.

¹⁵ My bones were not hidden from you

when I was being made in secret,

when I was being skillfully woven in an underground workshop.

¹⁶ Your eyes saw me when I was only a fetus.

Every day ⌊of my life⌋ was recorded in your book

before one of them had taken place.

I know that God has a plan, purpose and a reason for everything.  Though throughout my life, I have seen people with my disability a lot worse off than I am, and even like today have heard of one of them passing away, and know in the hands of God.  I may not know the exact answer, until I see him face to face, but I ask myself, why did God make me this way?  Than I see others, and I ask myself, God how did I become so fortunate, not to have to suffer the way they did?  Live today with the Joy of the Lord, knowing that their are people worse off than you today, maybe not specifically with a disability, but we live in a country thats far better off than most in this world.  When you look in the mirror today, don't walk away not remembering the way that you look, but saying Thank you God for making me this way.