You Are Lovable,

"Stupid child, you were just an accident, worthless child thats what he says. waste of time, your never going to make me proud, and don't you cry or I'll give you something to cry about, don't take those words to heart, know that you are, lovable, beautiful, wonderful in me, a child of God no matter what, hold on to the truth, you are lovable, you are lovable, careless words, scars no one can see, how they hurt, and cut you so deep, their are words with the power to bring life, hear them now, your treasure in heaven's eyes, so take these words to heart, and know that you are, lovable, beautiful, wonderful in me, a child of God no matter what, hold on to the truth, you are lovable, words can break, words can build, be filled with grace, or make tears spill, no we can't forget, we are so delicate.  fathers to mothers, and brothers to daughters what do you choose it's all in fresh water, so let the words from my mouth, never leave any doubt that you are lovable, a child of God no matter, what you are lovable" Lovable, bye Kerrie Roberts, 

This is a song that I bought the other day from a Christian artists by the name of Kerrie Roberts, I tried to find the lyrics from the web or her website but couldn't find it.  So their may be a line or two of lyrics missing since I couldn't understand all the words.  When I heard this song, I felt like their were people out their in this world, that needed to see these lyrics to You Are Lovable.  No matter what you have done in your life, no matter what I have done in my life, we are all lovable, we may feel like we are at the lowest of the low at the moment, but God still loves us.  Each and everyone of us, were all the prodigal son at some point in our lives.   The story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32, the son goes away and eventually comes home, in verse 24, the father responds to his son coming home, "For this son of mine, was dead, and has come to life again; he was lost, and has been found.  And they began to celebrate"Luke 24.  God loves you, God loves me, no matter what we have gone through in our lives, and what other people have said about you, by God's standards, You Are Lovable, you may say why because God Loves You. 

God doesn't call the Qualified,

  In this life, God calls us to strive and become more like  him each and every day of our lives, and when we die, as long as we have that relationship with God, and acknowledge him as Lord and Savior, He should say well done good and faithful servant.  Their are a lot of sports athletes out their that proclaim to be Christian, and their are some out their that you can tell by their word and action that they are Christian.  Their is one young man named Tim Tebow, that has gotten a lot of criticism because he's not the most eloquent QB passer, he's not the most accurate passer.  For the last several weeks he has been the lead QB for the Denver Broncos and has won the last 6 games and is now 7-1 as lead QB.  He may not do well in the NFL, we don't know, granted the teams that He has played has not been the cream of the crop.  Although if we look to his past, we can see that God has given him gifts and talents, and while in college he did win the Heisman Trophy.  Whenever people say he's no good, he's not going to do well, he's garbage, I can relate to that, because I have been told that I would not make in this world, in college, would not do well enough to graduate, though I did.  Tim's thinking is that his football career is not on the top priority list of his life.  What He does for God is on the top of his list, and he shows that, by how he plays and what He does while he plays, he bows on one knee and prays, and gives all glory and honor to God.  We need to remember that when God calls us to do something, He will bring us to it, and will bring us through it.  Philippians 4:13 says I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  God's word never says, I only use the best, most qualified, smartest, of the group, we can see from the bible that He didn't use the best, he used everyday people, like you and me.  So whatever your going through, dealing with, or will some day be going through and dealing with know that God has a plan and a purpose for it and for your life.  Jeremiah 29:11.  Life is not easy, God never said it would be, but God already has our lives written out, it's our choices and our decisions, that allows us to go down the path that God wants us to go down.  He wants each and everyone of us to come to a knowing knowledge of who He is, but we have to make that choice and that decision on our own.

What God Say's About Us.

Have you ever wondered, what God say's about us, we are his Children, He created us, Psalms 139:13-16, He knew us before we were ever born, so He must say something about us in his word.  Yes He does, and here it is,


1.  God says that we are reconciled to God as new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17-18

2.  He also says that we are Forgiven and restored children of God, (John1:12)

3.  We are Citizens of God's Kingdom ( Colossians 1:13-14)

4.  We are In Christ Forever and already seated with him in heaven Ephesians 2:4-7

5.  Saints- yes you are a saint, even with all that we do, we are still saints, because we are God's people. (1 Corinthians 1:1-3)

6.  We are God's masterpiece we may not always like the way we look, the color of our hair, the winkles on our skin, the weight that the men gain as they get older, but regardless we are God's Masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10)

7.  We are God's ambassadors who represent him. (2 Coronthians 5:20

8.  We are the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21).

9.  We are His chosen adopted precious ones (Ephesians 1:3-6)

10. We are Partakers of the divine nature (2 Peter 1:1-4).

This is what God says about us, what do we say about God?  

In Everything Give Thanks.

1 Thessalonians 5:18, in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus;
We are going to have Thanksgiving, and we will give thanks for different reasons, and in this Bible verse we are told to give thanks in everything.  Here is my list for why I am thankful this year,

                  1.  For God sending his son Jesus Christ to die on the Cross for my sins, and for his forgiveness of what I have done in my life, and for my relationship with him. 

                 

                  2.  For my family, and still being able to live with my dad, eventhough I would love to move out on my own, I am thankful for my father being able to still allow to live with him.  

                  3.  For the ministry that God has allowed to have me to be doing for the last 4 and a half years, and that God would continue to allow me to do it, and would continue to lead and guide me to what He has for me to do.  

                4.   For my friends, that either I have had for the last several months, for the last several years, or for most of my life.  I am thankful for what my friends have done in my life, for the encouragement, for the support, for being their when I needed to talk to someone.  

God I give you thanks for all of these things, that you have placed in my life, and I am grateful for what you have done in my life this year, and I am excited to see what you have in store and for what you are going to be doing in my life in 2012.

It's not about how hard you can get hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

I recently saw the latest Rocky Balboa Movie, which I saw for the very first time.  Once again balboa comes back from all the naysayers and people who doubt him, and come back and win.  One of the statements that he says really got me.  It is, It's not about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.  I think thats what happens too many times, in our lives we get hit, and what happens we give up.  What would've happened when Jesus said in Mark 15:34, my God My God why have you forsaken me.  He wouldn't have quit, and given up, because He was God, but what was his human side thinking, what was his human side saying to him? I was going to put some things down, of what I thought, but I really don't know, though I am glad of one thing, that He didn't quit, and He kept on moving.  I am grateful, that God sent his son so that He could die on the cross for our sins.  So why do we quit, when we have God in our lives, fighting the battles, that we have in our lives, when He fights them for us to begin with?  Lets not give up, but get up after being hit, and keep moving forward.  Remember God loves you.

What can God do with you,

Have you ever looked back on your life, and wondered, what if, what if this would have happened or what if that would have happened.  Have you ever looked back at your birth, and wondered, whether you were planned? or a surprise?  You may say yeah I was a surprise such a surprise to my parent's that they gave me up for adoption, those of you who were planned, may have lived in a house where you didn't feel the love from your parent's that you think you should have gotten.  Due to what we have been through we may focus so much on our past we forget about our future, and some of us focus so much on our future we forget about our past.  We need to have a balance to see from where God has taken us from, to where God is bringing us.  Regardless of what our past looks like, what we have done, where we have come from, God has a bright future for you, because God has a plan and a purpose for your life.  Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future. In Jeremiah 1:5 Jeremiah was called by God, to be a prophet to the nations.  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.” 6 Then I said, “Alas, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, Because I am a youth.” 7 But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am a youth,’ Because everywhere I send you, you shall go, And all that I command you, you shall speak. 8 “Do not be afraid of them, For I am with you to deliver you,” declares the Lord. 9 Then the Lord stretched out His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me, “Behold, I have put My words in your mouth.  God used the nobody's, He used, Jeremiah, He used Paul, who even called himself one of the least of the saints, Ephesians 3:8, To me, the very least of all saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unfathomable riches of Christ.  He used Silas, He used Daniel, He used me, He even used his son Jesus to bring eternal life to your immortal souls, what do you think He can do with you.  

Taking down our Walls.

I saw this on facebook, when I woke up this morning, and it just hit me, and I had to quote it and use it in my blog this morning.  ‎"Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down".  Some people might say well people just do that for attention getting.  Well that might be true to a point, but when we walk into the doors of a church, we are walking into a spiritual hospital, where we are supposed to be healed of our past, healed of our spiritual sicknesses, our guilt, shame, mistakes, not only healed but forgiving of our past sins, and mistakes.  I know what people are going to say well the church is not the building the church are the people, and yes we are the church, so why don't we do what that statement says.  Get to know people well enough to show that we love and care for them, than they will break their walls down.  Too many people, walk into the church, get to know people on the entry level of what they do for work, are they married, do they have kids, etc, but they don't get to know them beyond that.  They walk out the doors and don't talk to them till the following week.  Than you don't see that individual for months on end, and you forget about them, because you don't truly know who they are, what their going through or dealing with.  Than we wonder why churches are getting smaller.  

Though sometimes people are too ashamed and to embarrassed of what we have done in our past to come out and tell others what that is. Yes when we sin we do not have to tell others what we have done, because we tell God what that sin is.  Doesn't it help when we talk with someone, about what has happened in our past that the guilt feeling or the heaviness we feel leaves.  I think sometimes, we have the feeling that God sometimes hangs those sins, or the past mistakes over our heads, and we forget that once we have asked for forgiveness, that it is no longer their.  He wipes the slate clean of all of what we have done in our past.   Even though we have asked for forgiveness, of those sins, we still hold on to them, maybe not because we still feel guilty, but maybe because we wonder will we do them again?  Hebrews is the chapter of faith, because in most verses it talks about faith, and in verse 30, it says By Faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encircled the for seven days. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know that God has a plan and a purpose for our life, plans to prosper us, and not to harm us but to give us a hope and a future.  God help us to take down our walls.

Watch Me.

I have had so many people tell me that I can't do this or that I can't do that, and when I told them what I wanted to do, they would say no way. You can't do that, their is absolutely no way you can do that, you can't be a sports athlete, you can't be a teacher, you can't be in ministry.  Though as we know God tells us that He has a plan and a purpose for our lives Jeremiah 29:11.  Philippians 4:13, says I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. In Proverbs 3:5-6 God tells us to trust in him, not to trust in anyone or anybody else or to listen to anyone or anybody else, but to trust in him. Lean not on our OWN understanding but in all our ways acknowledge him, and He will make our paths straight. So I just had to share this, and if it's something that God wants you to do, and people are telling you that you can't, just turn around, and tell them watch me.

It may be God telling you to be be missionary, in a foreign country that hasn't had one in 100 years or has never had one.  It may be God telling you or opening up a door for you to be a teacher in one of the worst schools in the country, and people tell you don't do it, or that you can't.  I love the movie lean on me, because principal Joe Clark, used in a school in Paterson NJ, and was asked to return to become the Principal.  The school was so bad that the Government was going to take it over, though with all the people telling Principal Joe he and his staff couldn't do it he turned it around, so that the Government didn't have to take it over.  Just know that God has a plan and a purpose for your life, and whenever anyone says you can't tell them WATCH ME.  

What Does God have Planned for Your Life.

Have you ever wondered why things happen in your life?  Have you ever asked or screamed out to God, WHY?  Have you ever laid down something at God's feet, and taken it back the next day because He wasn't quick enough to answer that prayer.  I think we all have at some point, though we forget that from birth to death, from Job to Job, from being single to being married, God has it all planned out in our lives.  We may think that we met the greatest man/woman in the world, and we think we are going to get married, yet down the road he dumbs you, or as guys we dump the girls.  We think that when we get dumped, or when we dump someone it's the end of the world, but is it really?  Is it really the end of the world when something happens in our lives, it may be something tragic, it maybe losing a job, it maybe getting dumbed by what you think is the greatest guy/girl in the world. Yet we forget that God has it all planned out.  Philippians 1:6, says For I am confident of this very thing, that He who begin a good work in you, will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus, 1 Corinthians 2:9 says But just as it is written, Things which eye has not seen, and ear has not heard and which Have not entered the heart of man, all that God prepared for those who love him.  In other words we don't know what it is that God has for us, but we know that it will be good, because we are his children, and He will protect, guide, and lead us to what it is that He has for us.  The message version of Jeremiah 29:11 says I know what I am doing, I have it all planned out, plans to PROSPER you, and not to HARM you, to give you a HOPE and a FUTURE.  We may not see those things now, but in God's timing and way we will.  Because whatever situation, difficulty, trial, or fear we are facing God wins.

Where were you on 9/11

I know this is a day late, but hopefully not a dollar short, I went to a church yesterday in Jersey and felt humbled of being asked to come on 9/11.  Just because of what happened ten years prior.  Where were you when the first towers hit, where were you when you first found out that something had happened in NYC.  I was sitting in a Library on the campus of Valley Forge Christian College, and had a friend come running in, to tell me that something has happened in NY.  So I went running back to my dorm, to call my home, and make sure everyone was okay.  I got my mom crying on the phone telling me that something has happened in the City.  I went into the chapel, seeing what was going on in the city was disturbing and a lot of people where crying.  It was very hard to try and get family members on the phone later in the day.  Ten years later, we lost a lot of people on that day, but we still remember what happened on that day as people who were around when Pearl Harbor happened I am sure remembered.  I usually give my testimony the first time I visit a church for the first time. Yesterday, I told them where I was that day, and I even asked God to help those in the room that may have had to deal with something on that day, or maybe still are.  So where were you on that day, what did you through on that day, your emotions, actions, reactions.  Let us remember that God has us right where He wants us to be.  Jeremiah 29:11 I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future. 

The Trials We Face

I have been getting ready this week to do a couple of services this week based on James 1:2-3, which says  2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  When trials come our way, some of us give up, we think that God isn't standing next to us anymore, He's not in our corner, He is not their nor is He going to help us.
I don't know all that people go through but God does, though when I see Christians going through these trials I sometimes wonder are they trusting in God?  They seem to have giving up on God, and on God helping them.  Do they feel that God has left them? Do they feel that God is not their for them anymore? I am not sure, I am not God, though I do now as it says in Hebrews 13:5 that  Make sure that your character is free from the love of money being content with what you have; for He Himself has said I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU.   During certain trials we are facing or going through we may feel like Jesus felt when he was on the cross, we may feel that God is forsaking us.  Jesus was dying on the cross, after being beaten but yet God's son still screams out ELI, ELI, LAMA SABACHTHANI MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME.  (Mt 27:46).  We may feel that God isn't in our corner during the trials, we may feel like Jesus felt that his own father was forsaken him, though Jesus tells us inWhenever we feel like giving up remember that Jesus also cried out why are you forsaken me, though God also tells us that He will never leave us nor forsake us.

Made in God's Image

Walking through the mall last night, I realized one thing about my life, that I thought I had gotten either used to, or that I had ingrained in my mind Psalms 139 13:17, that it wouldn't bother me anymore.
I had a couple of people that had starred at me, and looked at my hands.  Now I will grant you that one of those was a young girl probably younger than twelve, and she had said something to her mother.  Probably the fact that I was looking back at her because she was looking at me.  Like the bible says do unto others as you would have them do to you.  Now I am trying to be a little funny with that last comment, but last night, I realized once again that God made, formed, and created me for a reason and a purpose because from what it says in Psalms 139:13-17. For you formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. 14 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; 16 Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. 


I am made in God's image, God knew that before I was born that I would be the way that I am, why because thats the way God either formed me, or allowed me to be formed.  God doesn't want his children to go through difficulties and trials, but he allows it only because to strengthen our faith, and strengthen our relationship with him.  So if your going through difficulties today go to God, and He will bring you through whatever it is that you are facing in your life.  

   

Back In Time

Have you ever gone somewhere you haven’t been for a really long time, and all of a sudden you start to think back to when you where their, 10, 15, 20 years earlier.  Well I did that today, I went to talk to someone today in NYC, right across the hospital where I had probably half of my surgeries. I walked into the hallway where I had most of my appointments and I remembered being their as a kid, having to go and see doctor’s.  Sitting in the lunch room, because sometimes I was their for most of the day, and than their where times when I would have to stay in the hospital for surgery, so I was their for more than a few days.  Those memories come back to you, than you realize from where you been, to where you are now, and you realize that God has brought you a long way.  You remember what your parent’s told you about having the doctor’s tell them that you may eventually be brain dead, and that the best option for them would be to put you into an institution and walk away.  Though 34 years later, you are a evangelist traveling all over the North East, Giving your testimony of what God has done in your life.  Which I am grateful and thankful to God for, and I am excited about what it is that God has for me, for my present and my future.  Though regardless of what does happen, I know that God has a plan and a purpose for my life.  Jeremiah 29:11 Remember that whatever your past is, whether it’s bleak, dark, not wanting to look back at it, because of all you been through, or whether it’s a bright, joyous, happy, past.  God has a plan for your life, and He will lead and guide you to whatever He has in store for your life.  He will use your life, to encourage and inspire others.  Remember, GOD LOVES YOU.

Mothers Day,

It's a few weeks away yet, though May is always a happy and sad time of the year for me, and for my dad.  One because we are celebrating his 80th birthday this year, and no I am not a lot older than I really look, I really am only 34.  If you want to know how that happened, talk to my dad, thats why it's happy the reason it's sad is because this year, will be my Mom's ninth year in Heaven, not only to we celebrate Mother's day, we also would celebrate my Mom's Birthday.  In 1 Corinthians 13 their is a verse that my Mom would quote at the end of it, where it says we may see in a mirror dimly but then face to face; now I know in part but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.  I like that verse because the meaning behind it is this, their are times in our lives when situations, happen, and we don't fully understand why that happened my Mom passing away for example.  Though when we get to heaven and we see Christ face to face, we will fully understand why these situations happen in our lives.  Why was I born with a birth defect, why did I have to deal with everything that I have in my life, how did I NOT give up on God, how did I survive 68 operations.  We all have questions about our life, it could be small it could be something big, but eventually we will know the answer. 

What God did in Maine

You get in contact with a Pastor up in Rumford ME, and he asks you in a year advance can you come up for a four day revival service in April of 2011.  So you do, you take that opportunity that God gives you, but like everything else, you wonder, what is this going to be like, how is this going to come out, what is God going to do in these meetings, and through me.  You never done anything like this in your life, so your in a whole new ballgame with what God has for you to be doing.  Your like peter, you take that step out of the boat, heading towards Jesus, thankfully I didn't look around, nervous afraid about what was going to happen around me.  I laid everything at his feet, and thank God he helped me speak, his words, to the hearts and the souls of the people that where up in Rumford ME.  God did some amazing things in those 4 days and I believe He will continue to do great things in Rumford ME, but God used his vessel.  We just need to know when He calls us to do what Peter did get out of the boat, God calls us, and wants us to do things for his honor and glory, but God don't force us either.  We have to do our own action, move, and obey what it is that God wants us to do, listen to His Voice.  

The Pain of Life.

I have been pricked, prodded and poked, more times than I would like to imagine and think about.  If the holes that they made didn't heal up on their own, I would probably have more holes in my body than in Bernie Madoffs money making scheme.  Though when they prick me for a needle, whether it's for blood or like this morning for an IV, to put me to sleep, it hurts.  It brings to my memory if a little prick of a needle hurts me, how did Jesus feel on the day,  He was being Crucified.  What did the nails feel like going through his skin.  We know that no bones where broken so the nails had to go through his wrists and not the palm of his hands.  The whipping that He received from what I have read and studied had some type of sharp objects on it, so that too wasn't the easiest thing that He had to go through.  When I was talking to the doctor about my process with my stomach, he had said that I may have to have surgery, but he was like I know that your not jumping at the chance to have surgery.  Not after having 68, but regardless of what Happens, I know that God will be their with me, next to me, in the room with me, and guiding and directing the doctor's hands as He has done all the other times.

Whenever you face the trials and difficulties of life, and whenever you face pain in your life, whether it's the pain of the human body or pain of relationships, know that God has been their in both situations. When it comes to the pain of the body think about when He was on the Cross, what He was feeling, and what He was thinking.  When it comes to the pain of relationships, think about when He found out that Judas Betrayed him.  Peter, denied him not once, or twice but three different times, and said He didn't know who He was, both where one of his 12 disciples.  Remember God loves you, and He is right their beside you through every situation in your life.

 

God Call's You Go.

I know that I am like the man Moses in the Bible, one of the similarities that He and I have is that we both have some type of Speech impedement.  We don't know the cause of Moses's condition, it could have been a stuttering problem, maybe not enough teeth, an overlarged tongue.  Though God called him three different times, to go and speak to Pharaoh, and each time, Moses, said how can I, I am slow of speech and slow of tongue Exodus 4:10.  Exodus 6:12, even says I am unskilled in speech, so it could have been that Moses felt that he was uneducated and could not go and speak to such a highly educated, and highly esteemed, man as Pharaoh.  How many times do we question God, when He calls us, and says go over and speak to that homeless man, go over and witness to the woman standing at the bus stop, go and witness to your family.  We never witness to our family because our family see's our mistakes, our screw ups, and our faults.  Though God doesn't care about our faults, mistakes, or screw ups, God will use us just the way that we are.  Prognosis by doctor's at birth was that I would eventually become brain dead, I have had sixty eight Operations later, 9 years of College, and still looking for that woman of God that He has for me.  Though on the day when I was on my knee's asking God what He had for me, He said send out the DVD and see what I will do with it, and from that time on I have seen what He is doing with it, and He is doing great things through this ministry.  I continue to pray that God continue to use me in this ministry, and in what He has for me, and what He wants to do in my life.  Whenever you hear the voice of God, and hear his voice calling you to do something for him GO.  Don't question him, saying I can't, because He will decide to use someone else, and like with moses he will not be happy.  God will give you the words to speak, the giftings and the talent's to do what it is, that He wants you to do in Your Life. 

Wait For Me

 
By Rebecca St. James 
 
Darling, did you know that I
I dream about you
Waiting for the look in your eyes
When we meet for the first time
And darling, did you know that I
I pray about you
Praying that you will hold on
And keep your loving eyes only for me
CHORUS:
'Cause I am waiting for, praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
'Cause I am waiting for, praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
Darling wait
Darling did you know
I dream about life together
Knowing it will be forever
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
And darling when I say
" Til death do us part"
I mean it with all of my heart
Now and always faithful to you
CHORUS
Now I know you may have made mistakes
But there's forgiveness, and a second chance
So wait for me, darling wait for me
Wait for me
Darling wait for me 

 As each year goes by, I see more and more of my single guy friends getting married, and sometimes I go to the weddings, and I try to reach for the garter belt.  Of course their are always guys taller than me so I never get it.  And each day I knell and I pray that God would help me to find the woman of God that He has for me, and that He wants me to be with.  It says in 1 Samuel 16:7       7      But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”  I am not perfect, by any means, because we all are attracted by what we see on the outside of what a person looks like.  But I want God to shape me and mold me into the man that does not always look at the outside appearance of a woman but looks at her heart.  Because as we all know male or female the outside can be beautiful but the outside can be rotten.  The outside appearance may not be the most beautiful thing we have ever seen, but they can have the heart of God.  That's what God wants for us, is to have someone that has the heart of God, and thats what I want.  

I was talking to a friend of mine, about getting married, and finding that woman of God, and my list of single guy friends is just dwindling, but my list of single female friends keeps growing go figure.  :) Not because my female friends are not getting married but because I am looking for a single female.  Though he said that I need to find someone like my Mom, who loved, cared, and took care of me for me, and not because of what I looked like or went through but because of who I was.  I remember a certain letter that a female friend of mine wrote to me in College, "She WILL love you for all that you are and never because of the problems that you have had to endure. She will not love you in spite of those things but will respect your strength and love the heart and your physical appearance. You are handsome and wonderful- God has made a wonderful thing when He made you and there is nothing but purpose waiting for you".  I just need to remind myself of those things sometimes, I know that their are guys and girls that are out their still single, regardless of whether being born normal or with a disability and are asking the same question that I am when?.  

I hope to find a woman like what is stated in Proverbs 31. 

10–31      A good woman is hard to find,
      and worth far more than diamonds.
      Her husband trusts her without reserve,
      and never has reason to regret it.
      Never spiteful, she treats him generously
      all her life long.
      She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
      and enjoys knitting and sewing.
      She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
      and brings back exotic surprises.
      She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
      for her family and organizing her day.
      She looks over a field and buys it,
      then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
      First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
      rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
      She senses the worth of her work,
      is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
      She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
      diligent in homemaking.
      She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
      reaches out to help the poor.
      She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
      their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
      She makes her own clothing,
      and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
      Her husband is greatly respected
      when he deliberates with the city fathers.
      She designs gowns and sells them,
      brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
      Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
      and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
      When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
      and she always says it kindly.
      She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
      and keeps them all busy and productive.
      Her children respect and bless her;
      her husband joins in with words of praise:
      “Many women have done wonderful things,
      but you’ve outclassed them all!”
      Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
      The woman to be admired and praised
      is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-GOD.
      Give her everything she deserves!
      Festoon her life with praises!
 
I want to be able to do what the song says in the beginning of this blog o Wait For Me.  I want to be able to wait for my wife, and say to her on the night of our wedding that I waited for you.  I want to be as pure as I can be in my spiritual and my physical life, because I know thats what I am waiting for in my own wife.  We all make mistakes but like the song says their is forgiveness.  God help me to wait as patiently and for as long as it is that you have for me to wait for that woman you have for me.   I know that you are preparing a woman of God out their for me, and in your plan and timing you will allow me to find her, and you will bring her into my life.  Amen. 

 

Growing up different

Growing up, my parent's always taught me that I was normal, that I was differentn't like everyone else. Even when I was young going to the school for people with disabilities, I remember my parent's saying that I said something to the extent why are they different.  Just by looking in the mirror, I could see that I was different even with all of the operations that I have had throughout my life.  I am glad my parent's treated me like everyone else, and I am glad that I was able to learn on my own that I was different and I wasn't like everyone else.  Even with the help and support that my parent's taught me, that I would be teased, I would be made fun of, I would be rejected in certain situations, whether because of a job, or because of friendships, it still doesn't ease the pain when it actually does happen even as an adult.  We can read God's word that He loves us, cares for us, watches over us, and will protect us and be their for us in our time of trouble, which He will be.  We know the old cliche that when we are going through the storms of life, that is when He is carrying us.  Though sometimes I think we just need to be open and honest with each other, and know to keep God first in our lives, and know that God has a plan and a purpose for our lives.  Remember that we are not the only one that has gone through pain and hurt either.  Jesus had 12 men, that He trusted and loved, all of them left him in his time of trouble, one of them betrayed him, and one of them denied him.  He even cried out when He was being crucified My God My God why have you forasken me. Matthew 27:46.  When their is no one around that we can be open and honest about the trials and difficulties that we are facing go to God.  God never says well I want you to pray to me, but I don't want you to tell me your hurts, pains struggles, what your angry about because He does.  Sometimes were angry with God, be honest and open with him about that, God doesn't want you to hide it, and let it build up.  Lets begin to be honest and open with those that we are close to, and let us be honest and open with the one that loved, and died for us.